Hendrik Koopman 9.24.1927 - 8.24.2019

JHDK

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Oct 11, 2008
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Not to bring this bummer of a thread up again but yesterday, 9.24, was both the old man's birthday and exactly a month since I woke up to find his body.

I really wanted him to make it to 92 and 2020. 92 would have been a nice even number. 2020 would have meant he was born in the 1920's and died in the 2020's, another nice round figure.

I nearly constantly told the guy not to die. He did a good a job of listening for a bunch of years...another few months would have been nice.

Anyway my aunt called in the morning and that was sweet of her. Plus is seems we always have some financial matter to talk about these days but I'll likely get into that around here at a later date. I've been talking to both my aunts a lot lately.

Overall it wasn't as sad as I was expecting. One weird thing happened at work though. It's been a little over a year since I've been working for this account so I had some questions about vacation time and the 401 plan that comes with being at the company for a year. For some reason I decided to make a point of telling my boss about it and thanking her again for being so cool when it all went down. I also let her know I was happy to be working for her, which is how I really feel, even though I'm kinda scared of her. I guess a little sucking up never hurt, but that really wasn't the point while I was doing it.
 
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HecticArt

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Glad it’s going ok.

And a little light weight sucking up isn’t always a bad thing. Don’t sell your soul or lose your self-respect in the process though. It sounds like it’s a decent gig and worth a bit of sucking up to let em know that you appreciate it.
 
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JHDK

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Sorry to ressurect this thread guys but I'm kinda sad right now.

This song that I've posted before says it all:


and for some reason this one make me a little happier:


Something about the wet soil and pushing on makes me think of my grandmother who I met as a baby but never knew. Like Hendrik, that lady lived through the war.
 

IdRatherBeSkiing

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My wife lost here dad last New Years Day. The grief comes back every now and again without warning or rhyme nor reason. Just go with it.
 
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HecticArt

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Yep. It’ll hit you at weird times for a very long time. Every now and then I’ll get bummed about my dad, and it’s been about a dozen years.
A song reminded me of the Mrs’ dad the other day.
 
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HecticArt

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Sundown by Gordon Lightfoot.
When he passed, I made the video for his service and for friends and family that couldn’t make it. It also had CCR Long as I can See the Light.
 
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JHDK

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Am I a weirdo?

Please be honest guys...

So I've been carrying around Hendrik's ashes in my trunk for like 6 months now. I just can't seem to find the place to get rid of them.
 

IdRatherBeSkiing

Sherbert is not and never will be ice cream
Oct 11, 2008
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Am I a weirdo?

Please be honest guys...

So I've been carrying around Hendrik's ashes in my trunk for like 6 months now. I just can't seem to find the place to get rid of them.
My wife went to visit her grandma (called Mom C) about 2 years after her husband (called Pop C) had died. When they were driving and making a turn, there was always a clank coming from the trunk my wife asked Mom C what that noise was. She said not to worry, it was just Pop.

My wife has her other grandma's ashes in our closet. I think her sister has their dad in their closet.

I don't think it's bad to have but I would not keep them in the trunk.
 
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HecticArt

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I wouldn't keep the ol boy in the trunk either. You don't want him getting car sick, haunting you, or getting stolen or something.
Be careful if you move him to your apartment.
You don't want the cat mistaking his ashed for litter. (Remember..... cats ARE a-holes.)

When the Mrs' dad checked out, we knew that he wanted his ashes to be spread in the water somewhere because he used to sit and watch the boats come and go while drinking a beer. He was Canadian, so he wanted to be sent off with a beer and a doughnut. It took a while to find a good place to take him. We did. He would have approved.
 
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IdRatherBeSkiing

Sherbert is not and never will be ice cream
Oct 11, 2008
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I wouldn't keep the ol boy in the trunk either. You don't want him getting car sick, haunting you, or getting stolen or something.
Be careful if you move him to your apartment.
You don't want the cat mistaking his ashed for litter. (Remember..... cats ARE a-holes.)
One of the funniest scenes in "Meet the Parents".
 
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scotchandcigar

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Am I a weirdo?

Please be honest guys...

So I've been carrying around Hendrik's ashes in my trunk for like 6 months now. I just can't seem to find the place to get rid of them.
Did you discuss any of that with him while he was alive? And was there a memorial service?
 

HecticArt

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What did the old man like doing? I mean, you can't put his ashes into some pharmaceuticals, but there must have been something.
 

JHDK

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I'm sorry guys, I know I'm being a bitch here.

God knows IdRather, you have way more pressing problems right now and I'm making it all about me so fuck. I honestly do feel real compassion for you.

Anyway after watching that Drunk History about Adams and Jefferson that I posted about I wanted to watch the miniseries on HBO about Adams. When I clicked on it I realized I had the old man watch it and he enjoyed it. He never watched TV besides nature shows I'd put on for him so that made me sad.

Really fuck me. It's been 7 months. Get over it asshole, eventually parents die...it's how life is supposed to work.

He was the person I loved most in the world. Like I mentioned, his ashes are still in my trunk. Pretty sure there is some psychological shit going on there, but I'm not sure what. Not wanting to let go or something? That seems too 101 psych to be it. The old man kept his Mrs. ashes in a closet for like 18 months.
 
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IdRatherBeSkiing

Sherbert is not and never will be ice cream
Oct 11, 2008
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There is no time limit. From what my wife has been going through she gets blindsided like you did (and like I get) by unexpected stuff. In addition I have been warned ... 1st mothers/fathers day, 1st and 2nd xmas (2nd one because people are supportive in 1st one but move on in the 2nd) will be hard.

(I read this after the other thread).


Sent from my iPhone6S using Tapatalk
 
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HecticArt

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What he said.
It’s natural to still be sad about this, especially since you and your dad were so close.
Honestly, I think that it’s a good thing that you didn’t get over it right away. Don’t even worry that you should get over it. Nothing says that you have to.
 
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IdRatherBeSkiing

Sherbert is not and never will be ice cream
Oct 11, 2008
18,166
5,683
168
Toronto, ON
What he said.
It’s natural to still be sad about this, especially since you and your dad were so close.
Honestly, I think that it’s a good thing that you didn’t get over it right away. Don’t even worry that you should get over it. Nothing says that you have to.
You never get over it. You will learn to manage it better over time.


Sent from my iPhone6S using Tapatalk
 
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