In memorium

IdRatherBeSkiing

Sherbet is NOT and NEVER WILL BE ice cream.
Oct 11, 2008
20,733
8,495
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Toronto, ON
I appreciate that. There is really nothing anyone can do for me. Getting over the hurt and pain will just take a lot of time. One of my wife's friends suggested holding a "celebration of life" service for her. Yeah, that's a brilliant idea during the coronavirus pandemic and the stay-at-home orders. Are we supposed to conduct the service via a videoconference on Zoom? I don't think so.

There is no time limit on celebration of life. You can actually have 2 also. You can have a virtual one now and then do an in person one once things open up again.
 

JHDK

Release Robin's Bra
Oct 11, 2008
25,656
11,474
168
37
Hyrule
I appreciate that. There is really nothing anyone can do for me. Getting over the hurt and pain will just take a lot of time. One of my wife's friends suggested holding a "celebration of life" service for her. Yeah, that's a brilliant idea during the coronavirus pandemic and the stay-at-home orders. Are we supposed to conduct the service via a videoconference on Zoom? I don't think so.

I have no idea the about the sadness you are feeling. I've only ever lost parents and that is how life is supposed to go, parents die first. My dad lost his wife (aka my mom) and it wrecked him. He put on a strong front but he was never the same. He never took another woman (despite my encouragement) for 11 years until he died.

Anyway, I'm being all a grumpy puss and wasting aways days watching Netflix but I have also been thinking of you. I even prayed. That's not a thing that happens often. Hopefully Teri heard it.
 
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scotchandcigar

arrogant bastard
Feb 13, 2009
15,003
11,770
168
Vacationland
This is the first entry in my not-so-good week. I have an uncle who's been in a nursing home north of Boston, and his whole wing got covid. He had health issues to begin with, but for a week or so, we thought he might come through. But he didn't.

The family is orthodox, so they had a traditional burial at a Jewish cemetery. Some people were there, all wearing face masks, and the rest of us were on zoom.

He was my mother in law's brother, and two of his sons are close cousins to us. So it was tough having them go through this at this time. On a positive note, there was a zoom "gathering" last night that allowed all of us to connect, share stories, and catch-up.
 

Channel98

Don't yell or hit.
Feb 2, 2019
4,335
1,498
118
Glendale CA
I offer my condolences, Mister scotch. I know Zoom is a poor substitute for families being able to gather around the bed of someone who is ill and pray and share memories – but unfortunately the COVID-19 pandemic has totally upended our normal way of life. Is this virus one of the signs of the end of the world? The Bible and Jewish tradition say there will be wars, famines, earthquakes, plagues and pestilences. COVID-19 is definitely a pestilence.

Is the coronavirus an end-times sign? The Bible warns there will be 'pestilences' in the last days.

 
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Channel98

Don't yell or hit.
Feb 2, 2019
4,335
1,498
118
Glendale CA
I wrote more than a thousand songs and poems for my wife Teri. Since her death April 6, I've written several more. I've posted them to her Facebook page. I want to post one of them here. It's titled Why? Today is my 84th day without her and I miss her more each day.

Why is the earth still turning?
Why is the sky still blue?
Why are the flowers still blooming?
Why are they not missing you?
Why are the birds still singing?
Why do the bees still buzz?
Don't they know you're no longer here?
How can anything be like it was?
Why does the earth and everything in it
Not shed even one little tear?
Why am I the only one crying
Now that you're no longer here?
Everything changed when you left this world.
How can the earth not show it?
I love you, Teri, and always will.
I hope and pray you know it.
I'll be with you in heaven some day.
I wish that I knew when.
Until that time, I'll continue to ask:
Why does the earth still spin?
Why is the sun still shining?
Why is the sky still blue
When I lost the one who meant the world,
The only world I knew.
 

Channel98

Don't yell or hit.
Feb 2, 2019
4,335
1,498
118
Glendale CA
Teri and I never had a song that we officially called our song – but Teri always liked Shania Twain's You're Still The One, which was in the top ten on the day we got married. It begins, "When I first saw you, I saw love. And the first time you touched me, I felt love. And after all this time, you're still the one I love." My love for Teri was summed up in the Seekers' 1965 hit I'll Never Find Another You. It was recorded in November 1964 at Abbey Road Studios in London. I occasionally would play the song for Teri and sing along with it:

"There is always someone for each of us, they say,
And you'll be my someone forever and a day.
I could search the whole world over until my life is through
But I know I'll never find another you"

Even though Teri is now in heaven, she is still my "someone." I will never find another Teri. I won't even bother looking. I can no longer hear this song without crying. I miss you more each day Teri. I love you and always will. Here is the song:

 

Channel98

Don't yell or hit.
Feb 2, 2019
4,335
1,498
118
Glendale CA
The final conversation I had with Teri on April 6 was a short one:: "How are you feeling?" "I'm fine." Apparently she had no premonition that she would die in her sleep. I keep thinking there must have been something more I could have done to keep her from dying – but I have no idea what. I wrote this poem for Teri. It's titled 150 Minutes. The picture is from Christmas Day 1980.

At 4 AM you said you were fine.
At 6:30 you were gone.
It's hard for me now to find the strength
To even carry on.
Since I lost you, Teri, all I've done is grieve & hurt & weep.
If I'd known you had only 150 minutes left,
I wouldn't have gone back to sleep.
I would have told you how much I love you.
I would have kept my arms around you.
I would have made sure you knew how happy
And blessed I was to have found you.
I would have thanked God for our time together,
For your caring, your kindness and love.
I would have kissed you goodbye as you left this earth
For your heavenly home up above.
Without you, Teri, I'm totally lost.
I don't even know why I'm here.
I know I'll be with you in heaven some day.
I hope that day is near.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, closeup
 
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IdRatherBeSkiing

Sherbet is NOT and NEVER WILL BE ice cream.
Oct 11, 2008
20,733
8,495
168
Toronto, ON
I firmly believe that when it is your time it is your time. There may be some argument if you are hit by a bus or shot by somebody but aside from that, your body or God or whomever decides that it/you are done and you are.
 

scotchandcigar

arrogant bastard
Feb 13, 2009
15,003
11,770
168
Vacationland
The final conversation I had with Teri on April 6 was a short one:: "How are you feeling?" "I'm fine." Apparently she had no premonition that she would die in her sleep. I keep thinking there must have been something more I could have done to keep her from dying – but I have no idea what. I wrote this poem for Teri. It's titled 150 Minutes. The picture is from Christmas Day 1980.

At 4 AM you said you were fine.
At 6:30 you were gone.
It's hard for me now to find the strength
To even carry on.
Since I lost you, Teri, all I've done is grieve & hurt & weep.
If I'd known you had only 150 minutes left,
I wouldn't have gone back to sleep.
I would have told you how much I love you.
I would have kept my arms around you.
I would have made sure you knew how happy
And blessed I was to have found you.
I would have thanked God for our time together,
For your caring, your kindness and love.
I would have kissed you goodbye as you left this earth
For your heavenly home up above.
Without you, Teri, I'm totally lost.
I don't even know why I'm here.
I know I'll be with you in heaven some day.
I hope that day is near.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, closeup
That's a lot of emotion. It's good to express it, but don't let it get you down. There's nothing you could have done. She had you until the very end, you were with her, she knew you loved her.

People go to work, and they get into a fatal accident. There are a thousand ways to lose somebody. You found your soulmate. That's more than many people get.
 

HecticArt

Administrator
Oct 19, 2008
41,491
12,690
168
Toledo, Ohio
That's well said Scotch.

She's lucky to have been with you 98, and you're lucky that it was that good of a relationship.

I'll add that it's ok to hurt. It's a good thing, even though it really sucks.
Time will help.
 

Channel98

Don't yell or hit.
Feb 2, 2019
4,335
1,498
118
Glendale CA
In 2015, on what turned out to be our final trip to Walt Disney World, Teri got to meet Jessie from Toy Story 2. In the movie, Jessie, a toy cowgirl, sang the heartbreaking ballad When She Loved Me as she remembered the little girl who used to love her and play with her. The song begins, "When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful. Every hour we spent together lives within my heart." I know just how she feels. Teri, when you loved me, everything was beautiful. Every hour we spent together lives within my heart. I love you, Teri, and always will. I look forward to the day when I'm with you in heaven. – Steven

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Channel98

Don't yell or hit.
Feb 2, 2019
4,335
1,498
118
Glendale CA
In 2009, the 161,000-acre Station fire destroyed much of the Angeles National Forest north and west of our home. Teri panicked as she saw the flames start to descend the mountaintops. Another huge blaze, the 116,000-acre Bobcat fire, raged nearby in September-October 2020. A Living Tribute ( Plant a Tree Gift - Memorial Trees - Plant a Tree in a National Forest ) is a tree-planting organization headquartered in Greenwich, Connecticut. We can order trees to be planted in any national forest as a way to honor a friend or family member or memorialize a loved one. I ordered five trees to be planted in Teri's memory in Angeles National Forest and I will be ordering many more as funds allow. I think this is a nice, and lasting, way to honor her.

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Channel98

Don't yell or hit.
Feb 2, 2019
4,335
1,498
118
Glendale CA
A family friend here in Glendale invited me to Thanksgiving dinner today so I won't have to spend the day alone. I wrote this poem for Teri, who died in April. It's titled "Thank You, Teri."

When I get to heaven, I can thank you in person.
For now, this poem will have to do.
We shared our hopes, our dreams, our fears.
We shared our laughter, joy and tears.
We shared our souls, we shared our hearts.
We seldom spent a night apart.
All that we did, we did together.
We expected we'd be together forever.
I didn't expect to be alone
But God decided to call you home.
When I get to heaven, I can thank you in person.
For now, this poem will have to do.
The 21 happiest years of my life
Were the 21 years I spent with you.

1606422559789.png
 

Channel98

Don't yell or hit.
Feb 2, 2019
4,335
1,498
118
Glendale CA
I have written more than a thousand poems for Teri. She's been in heaven since April 6 but she will always be my inspiration and I continue to write poiems for her. This one is titled "Choir."

A heavenly choir of angels
Sings for all to hear.
A new angel is among them
Who was not there last year.
Lift your voice up, Teri.
Rejoice in the Savior's birth.
Sing loud enough so I can hear you
Way down here on earth.
Please know how much I love you, Teri,
For always and forever.
And some day you and I will be
In that great choir together.

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IdRatherBeSkiing

Sherbet is NOT and NEVER WILL BE ice cream.
Oct 11, 2008
20,733
8,495
168
Toronto, ON
Today is my mom's birthday. She would have been 85 today. Some days are harder than others. I will share 2 songs played during the photo tribute, These were by her request. I rewatch the photo tribute every now and again with these 2 songs. It gives me peace. The first was a song which I would never have expected her to like. She would turn the kitchen radio up to 11 when it came on back in 1985. Some times @ 7:30 in the morning. The second was one of her favourite to listen to in her later life.




Miss you mom.