"Jessica Simpson is a cow"

Fergz99

Member
Oct 14, 2008
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She's hittable just for historical significance. When you say "Yeah, I banged Jessica Simpson back in the day.", you don't have to mention it was during her Elvis years...
That might be the only way it would make sense now. I always thought her and Brittney were fat girls trapped inside a skinny body.

Nick got in and out at the right time for sure.
 

Bark

Hey Now!
Oct 15, 2008
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Frederick, MD
That may be the case, but it's hard to feel bad for an attention whore. Once you put yourself out there like she (and Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Ashley Simpson, etc., etc.) does, you no longer get to pick and choose what the press and public say about you. Everything these people do is under the microscope. And that's because that's what they want, IMHO. Any attention is good attention.
I agree. I said the same thing about Britney too when it happened to her. If you're going to market yourself as a sex-object to make money, don't let yourself go. If you do, we the public reserve the right to make fun of you.
 

Jgatie

Banned
Oct 14, 2008
1,402
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I agree. I said the same thing about Britney too when it happened to her. If you're going to market yourself as a sex-object to make money, don't let yourself go. If you do, we the public reserve the right to make fun of you.
It's the same thing with an athlete. If a guy starts the season 30 lbs. overweight and can't hit a beachball, then you have every right to complain about his physical appearance. This woman markets herself as a living Barbie Doll. If she suddenly looks like Barbie's matronly sister Bertha, then you have cause to critique.
 
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limegrass69

Confused
Oct 12, 2008
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Not surprisingly, Kim Kardashian, another media whore with no talent or abilities (other than getting hollowed out on sex tapes) whatsoever, came out in defense of Jessica.

Since when did "curvy" become a synonym for fat?
 

xan_user

Banned
Dec 16, 2008
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The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

I met her on Monday, 'twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean

My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?
 
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Bark

Hey Now!
Oct 15, 2008
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Bullshit! That was you crying on youtube to Leave Britney ALOOOOONE...
Uh, are you riding the short bus to school? I said the exact opposite of, "Leave Britney alone." I said, "Ride her fat ass until she's back in shape!"

Next time, look for the correct context when trying to crowbar in a joke. ;)

Edit: I now see that you understood the context, but damn you sir. That was below the belt. :D
 
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Super Dave

Member
Oct 12, 2008
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Even Obama joked she has a weight problem on the Super Bowl pregame show. Pretty funny, a comment was made that he was bumped off the cover of a magazine by Jessica Simpson, and he looked and read the title, saying apparently she's having a weight problem.
 

blyons200

These pretzels are making me thirsty.
Oct 12, 2008
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Ah hell I'd still hit it. Probably woulda hit the fat Anna Nicole Smith too if I woulda had the chance. I draw the line at dead though!;)