Pets

[Channel98]

Maybe Koop can teach Athena to sing this:

"I've been in the kitchen with a stove with no lock
I didn't mean to turn the burners on
The fire spread to the curtains and got bigger and bigger
And now the whole house is gone.
I've been in the kitchen with a stove with no lock
The fire at least killed all the rats
And my owners know when they renew their insurance
To make sure it covers damage caused by cats"

 

[sadchild]

When you, went out
I knew what it was all about
But when you did
I didn't mean to turn the burners on

Now when you, got home
You see I burnt our home to the ground
I'm sorry, lady
I didn't mean to turn the burners on

I meowed, meowed twice
I wasn't trying to boil mice
Cook 'em with some soft rice
No, I didn't mean to turn the burners on

Hey now why, should I
Feel guilty cuz you don't have
Cuz you don't have knob locks
Oh, I didn't mean to turn the burners on

 

[scotchandcigar]

Another visit from the dog with the Type-A owner.

The dog (the one with the stuffed moose in her mouth)


A snippet of the 3-page instruction manual that came with her.


All for a 2 night stay.

Edit: I forgot to mention; to facilitate the feeding instructions, the owner has apportioned each meal into little square tupperware containers, with labels on each (as marked per the instructions). He also provides the large and small scoops, which are very nearly the same size.

 

[sadchild]

I'd hand a letter back to the guy

This is your pet's last stay with us. Please find someone else.

 

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

I would rather have too many instructions than too little. If there is more work in this, make your rate reflect this.

 

[scotchandcigar]

I would rather have too many instructions than too little. If there is more work in this, make your rate reflect this.

Mrs. Scotch has had clients who give their dogs some crazy raw diet, or complicated thawed mix of stuff, with additives, and medicine etc. She charges extra for that, and for dogs who need frequent doses of medication, or special care. But this is not particularly difficult, it's just very militant.

 

[sadchild]

I would rather have too many instructions than too little.

I'd rather have it somewhere in the middle. Yes break down the diet (so your dog doesn't foul my nice fireplace rug) but specifying "my dog walks on THIS beach at THIS time". No she fucking doesn't. If I've got 4 dogs in my care, one doesn't walk beach A at 6am, another on beach B at 645am, the third on beach C at 757am and the fourth needs a nature hike up Analretentive Mountain and must see at least 3 squirrels before coming home. They all walk beach A after I eat breakfast. And they'll be fine.

Have I ever mentioned I don't work in customer service?

 

[scotchandcigar]

I'd rather have it somewhere in the middle. Yes break down the diet (so your dog doesn't foul my nice fireplace rug) but specifying "my dog walks on THIS beach at THIS time". No she fucking doesn't. If I've got 4 dogs in my care, one doesn't walk beach A at 6am, another on beach B at 645am, the third on beach C at 757am and the fourth needs a nature hike up Analretentive Mountain and must see at least 3 squirrels before coming home. They all walk beach A after I eat breakfast. And they'll be fine.

Have I ever mentioned I don't work in customer service?

I mentioned to Mrs. Scotch that some of the admonishments seem insulting (like the thing about "people food" in big letters), as we've hosted her many times - once for 3 weeks. She thinks these instructions are used for whoever interfaces with the dog, including new people. So they're generic, and not written just for us.

But yes, it shows that the guy's pretty effed-up. When we board a dog, it doesn't do the exact same things at the same time as when it's home. So I don't give a rat's ass about what time you get up with her, or when she walks. She gets up when we get up, and walks when we walk her. Clearly, the feeding instructions indicate that the guy has some sort of PTSD or OCD. But we get all sorts of crazy owners. The raw food people are nutty. And after a while, the dogs tend to hate the food, and refuse to eat. But that's a part of the business - kowtow to the owners' stupid demands, and then they'll keep giving you their business.

Penny (on the left) is 12, and twice a day, she's more excited about getting her kibble (with a little something thrown-in) than I ever thought possible. If I could ever be half as excited about anything in my life, that'd be great.

 

[JHDK]

Another visit from the dog with the Type-A owner.

The dog (the one with the stuffed moose in her mouth)
View attachment 9919

A snippet of the 3-page instruction manual that came with her.
View attachment 9918

All for a 2 night stay.

Edit: I forgot to mention; to facilitate the feeding instructions, the owner has apportioned each meal into little square tupperware containers, with labels on each (as marked per the instructions). He also provides the large and small scoops, which are very nearly the same size.

Those instructions are insane and I really feel bad for whoever is married to that person, but at the same time I imagine if you have a dog sitting business that's kind of something you see more often than the average person would expect.

 

[scotchandcigar]

Those instructions are insane and I really feel bad for whoever is married to that person, but at the same time I imagine if you have a dog sitting business that's kind of something you see more often than the average person would expect.

In general, dog people are nice, but we do come across some nuts in having the business.

A few other things I should mention:
- Most dogs don't get lunch. People who do that tend to be nutty.
- These owners make their own sweet potato chips. Isn't that special?
- The guy is the president of the New England Orchid society. I didn't know that was a thing.

 

[JHDK]

Most dogs don't get lunch. People who do that tend to be nutty

That is wacky.

Also the fact that the dog has a designated quite time is bonkers

The guy is the president of the New England Orchid society. I didn't know that was a thing

Orchids are cool. I have one in my bedroom right now and had to throw away my other one a couple weeks ago. The bedroom one begins my debate of. Do I keep it once the flowers go and try to nurse it back into another blooming cycle or do I just get rid of it. It takes a while to get them to bloom a second time. The one I threw out just straight up died. The stalks were all brown and dead.

 

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

Those instructions are insane and I really feel bad for whoever is married to that person, but at the same time I imagine if you have a dog sitting business that's kind of something you see more often than the average person would expect.

I can't find the scene in Airplane! online where the controller gets his wife on the phone and says he wants the kids in bed at 9, the dog walked and something else without any discussion. This guy would be like him.

 

[Channel98]

To put this in mathematical terms that Koop can understand, 4 Athenas =1 Axel.

 

[HecticArt]

I'd be allergic to the fir coat you could make out of that thing!

 

[scotchandcigar]

fir coat

I've never seen a coat made of wood.