Do We Have A "stupid Things Happening In Florida" Subforum?

[Channel98]

Here is a classic story from 2023. It doesn't say how the man "sexually molested" the manatee statue. I don't think I want to know.

Drunk tourist molests manatee statue outside Florida bar, deputies say

A 23-year-old man was arrested last weekend after molesting a manatee statue outside a Florida bar and throwing gator nuggets into the bar’s dining area, authorities said.

www.local10.com

 

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

Here is a classic story from 2023. It doesn't say how the man "sexually molested" the manatee statue. I don't think I want to know.

Drunk tourist molests manatee statue outside Florida bar, deputies say

A 23-year-old man was arrested last weekend after molesting a manatee statue outside a Florida bar and throwing gator nuggets into the bar’s dining area, authorities said.

www.local10.com

I haven't seen @JHDK around here recently. But I thought he was older than 23.

 

[Channel98]

Police also checked the washing machine, refrigerator, freezer and microwave oven but didn't find any more victims.

Kidnapped teen is found inside dryer after calling 911 to report abduction: Police
Christopher Michael Veit was arrested from his Florida home on charges of unlawful sexual activity.

https://people.com/kidnapped-teen-found-inside-dryer-after-calling-911-to-report-abduction-police-12004778

 

[Channel98]

The woman is Yashira Marie Maldonado. Google Gemini says her surname "translates in English to 'ill-favored' or 'ill-given.' Of Spanish and Portuguese origin, it historically began as a descriptive nickname for someone considered unattractive or ill-mannered." Yep, in this case that sounds about right.

Florida mom accused of chaining 13-year-old daughter to fence and leaving her without food or water amid soaring temperatures

Fla. Mom Accused of Chaining 13-Year-Old Daughter to Fence and Leaving Her Without Food or Water amid Soaring Temperatures - AOL

Yashira Marie Maldonado, 34, is now facing child abuse and child neglect charges

www.aol.com