Adventures In Koopland

Update time!

We broke up! I got drunk at her place when she was at work...Now to be fair I also did all her chores and bought her headphones for her iphone that same evening...but yea, it's on me. I knew she probably wouldn't be cool with it but I didn't expect her to be super pissed.

I don't think this breakup will last though. My guess is we'll be back together in a couple weeks at most. Her tire was kinda deflated and I filled it up for her after work today, she also texted to say she got home safe so we are still talking.

I'll keep you posted.
 
Sorry to hear about that, usually relationships have its rough moments.

If she broke up because you got drunk. Maybe that a sign?

Not trying to bring up the pass. But didn't you get arrested for a DUI and have all that damn equipment installed in your car. I know, I would have learned my lesson and not drink again. Unless you plan on drinking again. Do it your own place or if you got out and get wasted have friends, uber, lyft drive you.

I drink occasionally, but if I get a bit tipsy. I do one of those things above. The only time I felt drunk was in Vegas, but my car was in Phoenix and I had a ride back to the hotel.
 
I wouldn’t be too optimistic about your chances. This is strike 2. You need to examine why the fuck you felt it necessary to get drunk on your own. You also need to examine why you did it in a place where she was 100% likely to catch you.

Given your history you may want to look at AA or some other organization to help with your drinking problem.


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IdRatherBeSkiing said:
I wouldn’t be too optimistic about your chances. This is strike 2. You need to examine why the fuck you felt it necessary to get drunk on your own. You also need to examine why you did it in a place where she was 100% likely to catch you.

Given your history you may want to look at AA or some other organization to help with your drinking problem.


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Dr Skiing is in. I don’t think that your insurance will cover the bill, but at least he validates parking.

He makes very good points.

I would add that to an outside observer with limited first-hand knowledge of the situation, it seems that you are either trying to sabotage the relationship, or elicit a particular response from her.
 
IdRatherBeSkiing said:
I wouldn’t be too optimistic about your chances. This is strike 2. You need to examine why the fuck you felt it necessary to get drunk on your own. You also need to examine why you did it in a place where she was 100% likely to catch you.

Given your history you may want to look at AA or some other organization to help with your drinking problem.


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Click to expand...

I had a nice long conversation with her on her drive home today. Things aren't totally back to normal but it certainly seems like it's getting there and it's only been 2 days.

I told her I talked about it with friends, which I have but I didn't mention some of those friends were from a message board. I totally agree with that post IdRather and I told her what you said and how I plan to follow that advice. I think that made her feel a bit better.
 
JHDK said:
I had a nice long conversation with her on her drive home today. Things aren't totally back to normal but it certainly seems like it's getting there and it's only been 2 days.

I told her I talked about it with friends, which I have but I didn't mention some of those friends were from a message board. I totally agree with that post IdRather and I told her what you said and how I plan to follow that advice. I think that made her feel a bit better.
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Please let me know where to send my bill.
 
So it may be a bit harder to win her all the way back than I expected. We still talk everyday and she came by my place today but we had a long discussion about if building trust back is possible. I'm not ready to let this go and I don't think she is either but it will take at least weeks before things get back to normal.

Big issue is, the day I did my shitty thing happens to be the day when she was coming home to say we should move in together...something I've been pushing for awhile. Really, really shitty timing on my part. Dude, I'm a fucking moron. I've been to two AA meetings this week.

Oh, and I'm still helping her out financially. She told me that if she truly thinks there will be no chance of getting back together she will tell me and I totally believe her. So until that day I want to help the girl out how I can. She also said she's not going to be with anyone else so I guess that's what I'm going to do too. We'll see how this all shakes out.

Dutch Drama.
 
She is playing wait and see. For most women (at least the ones I have ever met) actions speak louder than words. She is seeing if your words are backed by actions.

More advise and you still haven’t paid your last bill.


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Let me tell you a tale of a pathetic Dutchman.

And all of this is my doing. She has not asked me for anything.

So I want this girl back and I am doing everything humanly possible to get it. A week ago I gave her a ton of cash to fix her car. She told me she would pay me back and I told her not to. Then this week I decide a nice Valentine's gift will be me paying her power and internet bill, so I do that. She tells me she doesn't want flowers and all that because we are broken up (and I would go all out, buying her a Princess Diana death array of flowers) so I figure I'll tone it down and I get her some clementine oranges and orange candles on top of paying those bills...my thinking being that she likes both and orange is the Dutch color so she'll think of me. That was only like $5. Then at work she mentions that she needs a manny peddy (not sure how that is spelled cause I'm a dude) So today I drive all the way to her place and buy a pretty pricey gift card to her local nail joint and leave it under her door with a nice card. When she got home she texted and thanked me. She said something like, "I'm not sure where my heart will go but I enjoy our friendship." She's said things like that before. That she wants to be friends and see where that leads. She clearly knows what I want and has been clear about how it's a maybe at this point but I'm trying to get this girl back.

Fuck me. Like I said, a tale of a pathetic Dutchman.

EDIT: Oh and I forgot to mention, I also help her with her side gig. That shit has been taking up at least an extra 10 hours/week. I want to show her that I am a stable force in her life that she can depend upon.
 
It's spelled "mani-pedi." Manny Peddy sounds like somebody who would be an outfielder for the Dodgers.

I speak from experience when I advise you to continue showing kindness to this woman and continue showing her you will always be there for her – but do not overdo it. If you try too hard, she'll see you as needy and will think you're being a pest. I learned the hard way that women don't want to be needed as much as they want to be wanted.

Gads, I sound like Robert Young on an old episode of Father Knows Best.
 
98’s comment was actually pretty rational....... I think his account may have been hacked....

Don‘t be needy, don‘t smother her, or be stalkery. (98 can fix my spelling for that.)
Don’t let her forget you. (Who could?) Give her a chance to miss you.
 
98's account was not hacked. Er, I mean my account was not hacked. I'm 98. I am not the hacker. Er, I mean I am not a hacker. I'm 98. Yes, indeed.
 
Everything's coming up Milhouse!



So the girl told me she is willing to be "friends" and casually, non-exclusively date. This is a big development. She's not a girl who goes and bangs random dudes so her saying that is really just she saying that she's ready to give us another shot but is being guarded with me.

As is any woman's prerogative, she changes her mind a lot and tells me all sorts of different things. I like to focus on the good stuff.

Before that she kept telling me to move on, so I joined eharmony. And I mentioned it to her...maybe I mentioned it subconsciously cause I was pissed at her but I thought I was doing it cause I wanted to be honest. Sober Jan = no more lying. I guess some lies of omission are a good thing cause oh boy did that blow up in my face like an IED. Anyway, I got rid of that account. Huge waste of like $150 for a year's subscription. I'm going to change my PW and give it to some single guy I work with.

We have not really been out together yet but we are talking way more and she calls me now. So that's good. She seems willing to give this another try and that's all I've been asking for so I'm a happy Dutchman.
 
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