Pets

[JHDK]

Mrs. Scotch has that pet sitting business right? So if I'm coming over to drop my dog off and I see that Mrs. Scotch's dogs look all shabby I'm going to be like what the fuck. Why am I trusting this woman? So of course your pup gets the fancy dog salon treatment.

If I'm going to buy a million dollar house and my real estate agent shows up in a pinto I'm going to be concerned so it's along those same lines.

 

[scotchandcigar]

You don't get the dog back?

That costs extra.

 

[scotchandcigar]

Mrs. Scotch has that pet sitting business right? So if I'm coming over to drop my dog off and I see that Mrs. Scotch's dogs look all shabby I'm going to be like what the fuck. Why am I trusting this woman? So of course your pup gets the fancy dog salon treatment.

If I'm going to buy a million dollar house and my real estate agent shows up in a pinto I'm going to be concerned so it's along those same lines.

Yes, there are several things that go along with the job, and that's one of them. Also, I can't get rude on the community Facebook forum, because of her business. But I think that's for the best anyway.

 

[JHDK]

Yes, there are several things that go along with the job, and that's one of them.

Is one of the selling points in her advertising the business that not only do you get the trusted services of a caring woman who knows how to treat your pet best. But you also get an older Jewish guy who looks a little bit like either Mandy Patinkin or Chuck Schumer and he promises not to be grumpy when lending a helping hand?

 

[scotchandcigar]

...even if the owners present us with 3 pages of pet care instructions.

 

[JHDK]

...even if the owners present us with 3 pages of pet care instructions.

Shit I forgot about that. Were you present when they presented their pet care dissertation? I can imagine the misses being very sweet about it. But I would be sitting there with my jaw clenched and my nails digging into my palms due to making every effort humanly possible to not tell these people how they should be 4140ed and as soon as they get dropped off in the looney bin all the like other actually mentally ill crazy people will keep their distance.

 

[HecticArt]

That costs extra.

I mean, usually a picture like that would have a copy of today's newspaper in it, or a note made out of letters cut out of a magazine saying how much the ransom is.

 

[JHDK]

Yeah and like people with face coverings and swords in the background hahahah.

 

[scotchandcigar]

Shit I forgot about that. Were you present when they presented their pet care dissertation? I can imagine the misses being very sweet about it. But I would be sitting there with my jaw clenched and my nails digging into my palms due to making every effort humanly possible to not tell these people how they should be 4140ed and as soon as they get dropped off in the looney bin all the like other actually mentally ill crazy people will keep their distance.

I've been there for most of the drop-offs. The guy likes to explain any changes to the instructions. Like when they started making their own kale, seaweed and garlic chips to give the dog. But they've been doing this for years. I just smile and maybe offer a little guy-talk. He'll discuss their vacation plans with us. It can be interesting, but they're still kind of kooky.

 

[Aaron]

In Back to the Future, the machine opens this can of Kal Kan dog food and out plops this horrible looking mess of dog food (even by pet food standards). Does anybody feed this to their dogs? Most people I know with animals go with dry pet food.

 

[scotchandcigar]

We give the dogs dry kibble twice a day. In the morning we add a little cube of moist pate, and at dinner we add a few spoons of pumpkin. They love it. Our older dog jumps up and down on her hind legs when we're feeding her.

Some of the dog clients give their dogs a raw diet, or similar crazy shit. Those commercials for Fresh Pet and The Farmer's Dog looks like big packages of moist food. And it looks like way too much.

I think kibble is good for their teeth and digestion, and they get a scoop and that's it. Our older dog is 13, and our last dog we got as a pup lived to 16.

 

[JHDK]

I mean, usually a picture like that would have a copy of today's newspaper in it, or a note made out of letters cut out of a magazine saying how much the ransom is.

Yeah and like people with face coverings and swords in the background hahahah.

Okay, this took way too much work. Apparently the Google photos app doesn't do it so Gemini had me download a new app called picsart so I could paste your dog's face on top of this poor terrorist's hostage face to make this dumb joke. I was literally at this for probably 15 minutes because it took like 13 minutes to figure out that the photos app doesn't have the cut and paste from one picture onto another picture option.

New photo · Monday, Feb 24, 2025

Tap to view!

photos.app.goo.gl

Totally worth it. Hahahah.

offer a little guy-talk.

Guy talk with a man who makes kale chips for his dog? If you mentioned F1 to him, he would probably think it was a new flower shop in town. These seem like the type of people who buy art that is a rotting banana peel in a glass cube that costs $60,000 because it's some sort of statement about society or whatever.

 

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

After the evening walk I add a service of "Caesars" (actually the generic WalMart equivalent). My dog is so excited she won't stop dancing until its in her dish. It started when my first Schnauzer needed to take some pills. You couldn't force him to . But you stuck it in the middle of a Caesars and he would scoop it up with 1 swallow. Silver will let me give her pills straight up but the tradition remains. I have modified it to do alternate nights. On the other nights she gets a dental treat. The vet says she has some dental decay. Since I can't afford the vet bill for the cleaning + extractions the dental treats are supposed to help slow the decay. She used to just get them after the morning walk. Now she gets them every other evening too. She hasn't complained yet.

 

[JHDK]

My dog is so excited she won't stop dancing until its in her dish. It started when my first Schnauzer needed to take some pills.

You ever try to give a cat a pill? At least with Athena, it is a very unenjoyable process. There's no chance of sticking it in any sort of food so I have to grab her and put her between my legs to secure her legs and torso from flailing. Then I pry her mouth open, take the pill and literally jam it down her throat with my finger.

Both of us really don't like it.

Since I can't afford the vet bill for the cleaning + extractions

Unless your pet is obviously in pain due to its teeth, nobody in the world should be able to afford dental cleaning bills because they shouldn't be a thing that exists. I mean it's ridiculous to take your dog to the fucking vet and then he pretends to be a dentist for a little while.

But yeah those bones and treats and stuff are supposed to be good for their teeth.

 

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

I have been lucky so far with the cat. My son had to give him some eye drops some time ago. It was fun.

 

[Aaron]

Am I the only one here without cat or dog? Hectic you got one? I know it ain’t a cat haha

 

[JHDK]

Am I the only one here without cat or dog? Hectic you got one? I know it ain’t a cat haha

What was the last pet you did have? And when was it?

And by the way, of course you're the guy who doesn't have a normal pet because you're also the guy, if I remember correctly, who has never been to a car wash in your entire life. So you do things differently down there in the bayou Aaron.

 

[Aaron]

I’m 49 and never owned a cat or dog.
My parents did when I was a later teenager and into my twenties. A great mutt named Skittles. That’s about it.

 

[JHDK]

Skittles is a cool name.

And you're not allergic or anything?

So you're just not a pet person. That's not like super weird but it is a little bit weird.

 

[Aaron]

No allergies, I do love animals, just with a small house, it feels cramped enough without one